17.0307-0900 Helping other Rubberists evolve
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@25.0614-1133.35atx
Dear Marla，
Something happened today that might interest you.
I was dusting in the library this morning. Yesterday I received some latex items I had ordered. I thought that dusting in the archetypal 'french maid' costume might be aa good test.
James was sitting at the big table playing with his camera. I think he was testing some gadget on his camera because he would take a very boring pictures of the wall and then fiddle with some knob or dial. Click!
Jokingly， I said.“Why don't you take your test pictures of me.”
James was quick! I no sooner said that when he quickly took a picture of me in full rubber and the maid's costume. Click! Then another. Click.
I had forgotten.
I had forgotten what that special 'click' does to me. I had discovered it back when I dabbled in a tiny bit of professional modelling iin my youth. Nothing kinky.
I liked it!
I might describe that 'click' as a 'hot button' for my narcissistic side. It shoots a glob of endorphins into my system.
This time the feeling was different from before. I was in my rubber this time， and that made a huge difference， I think， Oh， the original 'click' rush was there when James took his 'test' pictures of me.
I had always felt a (very repressed) sense of pride in my fetish， perhaps only because it is a part of me like a finger is part of a hand. I have had to hide that part of me from the rest of the world all my life.
When I saw the pictures James had taken of me， something stirred deep within me. I had never seen a picture of myself in rubber. The picture was of me -- the real me.
“James， I've noticed that you seem to keep that little pocket camera with you much of the thime. Do you ever take any pictures of me?”
“Well， you certainly appear in some of them but I have tried to be careful about taking them when you are in your rubber. I was planning to delete those test shots I took today right away I know you are sensitive about that sort of thing，”
I mulled this over for a moment.
“James， I appreciate your diligence. However， I'm reaching a point in my life when I really don't give a shit about what people think of me， within reason. I am not in this world to meet up to the expectations of others. You and Lorraine have been so instrumental in helping me realize that. I am more gratefull for your help than you can possibly imagine.”
“So， what are you saying?” He asked.
“James， from now on I would like to be in your pictures when I am in rubber. If you don't care if I am in them like that， then neither do I. Besides， I have to admit what that 'click' does to me. I discovered that back whewn I was modellng. But now it carries tons more weight. Now I want to display my fetish proudly.” I said.
“Would you like me to do a 'study' of you in your latex?” He asked mirthfully.
“Study?”
“Yeah， you know.... Take lots of pictures of you to try to reveal your soul.”
I thought for a moment. He had just pushed one of my narcissism buttons.
“Is that something you would like to do. James? You always have that little camera with you. Just take more of me. I am intriqued with your idea. Are you?”
His face lit up. “I would be honored to study you， Thalia， Is there any special theme you woul like to address?”
Again， it was time for another moment of thought. “Well， one of the things I have dreamed about most of my life has been the idea of 'Living IN Rubber'. You guys made it possible to do that now. Why not take a bunch of photos of me doing stuff around the house -- i.e. 'living' in my rubber.” I replied.
“Are you serious?” He asked. “I think it would be fun. Is there any particular reason why you want to do this?”
Yes， yes， more deep thought.
“I think of my writings in this journal as a legacy which may help some other Rubberist， somewhere on the planet find him- or herself in some way. That's almost my purpose in life， think. The deeper understanting of 'Living in Rubber' may help them evolve to be happier.
“Are you saying that your Purpose in life is to help other Rubberists to evolve?” He asked.
“I've never really thought about deep ideas like this. But， yes.... now that you mention it， That's what I want to do down deep inside me. It's the 'teacher gene' in me. It may be what I was put on this planet to do. Help other Rubberists evolve.” I said.
James cracked a smile that went from war to ear. “That's marvelous! Thalia， you have found your calling， your Purpose! That is very fortunate for you. Unlike most people， you have found your Path. You know where your heart is and where you want to go.”
Then he smiled again and looked me right in the eyes. “Go for it， Thalia. Help other Rubberists evolve.”
James then picked the camera up and took several photos of me.
“I'll email them to you”. He said and then walked out of the room.
